he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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