How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
