I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
