i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize