I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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