Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
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