For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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