so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
