We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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