Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
