Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We talked him into tasing himself.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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