Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
