You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
