She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
