he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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