Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
