My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
