I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
