It's Friday. Sex?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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