You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
