Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
