How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize