Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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