Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize