Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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