You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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