too bad you live with your parents still
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you would pick up someone in the library
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
