I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
