So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
