well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
