i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
