Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I would fuck him just for his dog
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize