never play flip cup with pint glasses
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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