She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
