Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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