Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
