...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
