I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
