you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Redeem this text for a blowjob
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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