I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
