i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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