No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
