Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
