Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
