We're facebook friends in real life
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
