Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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