You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
