I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
