My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
