Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize