Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
