your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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