I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
