Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
