My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
