i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize