So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We had sex on a dog bed..
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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