i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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