i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
