I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
