alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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