Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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