so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
