R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
