I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
organizing the empties. That sober.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
