I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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