i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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