Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
