Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
