Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I am one with the molecules
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
