No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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