I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
