Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
