She's the barista slut.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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