Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So much rum. So many feels.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
