So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
